Like everyone else, I endured the Catholic Trinity of Confession, Communion, and Catechism during elementary school. I always referred to the Catechism as Everything You Needed to Know about Catholicism without Getting Your Knuckles Rapped. As luck would have it, just as soon as we started to learn those Latin phrases, the Vatican changed the rules and we had to relearn everything in the vernacular. It seemed as if the Vatican was just waiting until I had learned those Latin phrases so they could switch to using the vernacular just to spite me.
At confession, the two safest sins were disobeying my parents, the priest never doubt that one, and telling a lie. You could never lie about lying during confession. If I had lied during the past week, I was telling the truth, but if I hadn’t lied and I said I had lied, I had just lied and therefore was telling the truth about lying. We kids would compare our confessions each week to expand our repertoire because if we confessed to the same sins every week, the priests might think we weren’t taking confession seriously. We would also compare penances to see what each sin was worth and plan accordingly. When the priest would say, “Go and sin no more,” I wondered whether he was serious because if we really listened to him, he would be out of a job.
Nuns just want to have fun! But when three former Catholic nuns have too much fun and get in trouble with the law, they become nuns on the run.
Driving back to Washington D.C. where they work at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Parts, the three sisters are arrested in Tennessee. After defeating the local deputy in strip poker, they escape from jail, and are pursued by the zealous Detective Schmuck Hole, who has personally offered a $10,000 reward for their capture on The 700 Club. Little do they know that when the three sisters visit the Washington Monument, their lives will change forever.
Set in 1979, The Three Sisters is a sacrilegious satire that skewers not only organized religion, but the government, the media, intellectuals, corporate greed and every other part of the establishment. Maybe not the greatest story ever told, but possibly the funniest.
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Genre – Humor, Satire, Catholicism, Politics
Rating – R
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Website www.threesistersnovel.com
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